Two Sides of a Coin
by samile
Summary: A short piece with POV's from both Nixon and Winters.
1. He'll Never Remember

Drinking hides a multitude of things from Nixon, most of which, if he was actually aware of the fact, he'd be grateful to remain blissfully ignorant of. However, there are moments, tiny spots in time, that are easily overlooked, brushed aside, and discarded into the black nothingness of pain and indifference. Perhaps, if he knew how much he was missing, he'd look a little harder, try a little harder, ignore a little less.

He'll stumble in, weak moonlight filtering through grimy windows the only indication of how late it really is. Sometimes, Winters will be up, sometimes he'll be asleep, most of the time, he won't remember one way or the other.

What he does know, is that sometimes, when Winters is actually awake (or, perhaps, more accurately, when he's been woken by Nix crashing blindly about the room), Nixon will want to talk, which he manages to do rather well for someone who's had as much to drink as he has.

Nixon will not remember the things he says or the responses he receives in return.

But on some rare mornings, when he awakens before Winters, he'll glance over to where his friend lies sleeping.

And wonder why there are dried tear tracks on his face.

But he'll never remember.


	2. He Never Remembers

He knows why Nix drinks, they've had that discussion more than once.

What he doesn't understand is Nix's unexplainable desire to return to their quarters, drunk beyond belief, and then want to sit down and have a conversation when all he wants to do is find peace in sleep.

He always relents, though, and ends up sitting with Nixon at the small wooden table in the corner, the only light coming from a single candle and the moon.

Nixon will talk and talk, about anything it seems, but once in awhile, intentionally or not, his musings will turn towards Winters and that makes him uncomfortable (to say the least). He knows Nix probably doesn't mean half of what spills from his mouth, but the words still cut deeply and hurt all the same.

'_So, Dick,'_ he'll ask with the slightest of slurs. _'Ever gonna find a nice girl to have a good time with, if you know what I mean?'_

His face turns red at the question, even though he's an adult, even though he's been around Nix and Army life for several years now. Such queries cause him to regress, to revert to the quiet, shy, unsure side of himself he's worked so hard to overcome.

'_Someday, Nix,'_ he replies, thinking it's best to be brief with his friend in the state he's in, _'someday, when we get back home, I'll find a girl. But not here, not like this.'_

It may seem odd, perhaps, that he refuses to find solace, emotional comfort in the arms of one of the local girls they've encountered. There'd be no strings attached and he could forget about it the next day. But that's just it. He wouldn't be able to forget about it. And, though he'd never admit it to Nix or anyone else, he wants his first time to be special. A romantic ideal, perhaps, but it's one he clings to.

Nix sneers at his words, undoubtedly thinking them odd and pointless, especially considering they're in the middle of a war.

'_You know, Dick, that's only gonna work out for you if you actually make it home. Could die tomorrow. Any of us could. The chance of us making it home is pretty slim, you have to admit. Might as well live while you have the chance.'_

There's the sting of drunkenly tossed words again, more and more familiar as of late. They hurt because Nix has a point. He may not make it back home. None of them might.

'_Yeah, well, got to have something to look forward to,' _he replies in an attempt to shake such dark thoughts away.

A snort and a shake of a head from Nixon.

'_Suit yourself. I'd live for today if I were you.'_

Such prickling conversation will continue long into the night until Nix finally passes out face down on the table snoring softly. Only then will the tears come, sliding down his face and dripping onto the wooden surface below.

What Nix will never know is how much his words break Winters' heart.

Because Winters doesn't expect to make it back either.


End file.
